10 Video Games that Shouldn’t Be Made Into Movies:
It seems that Hollywood has seen better days when it comes to their own film creativity. Years of movies have either been reboots, or based of other contemporary works. Books, comics, and yes, video games, have proven to be a popular source of movie material. And who could blame Hollywood for wanting to make popular video games into movies? It already has a fanbase, a guaranteed crowd/income, and there’s already a story (most the hard work is done!) it’s just a matter of translating it to the silver screen.
People come up with lists of games they want to see turned into movies- Im going the opposite direction, below is a list of video games that I hope Hollywood stays the hell away from.
Take a chill pill fanboy and fangirls. Im not saying Hollywood shouldn’t make a Halo movies because the franchise sucks. On the contrary, I don’t want Hollywood touching it and screwing up a generation defining game. As awesome as it would be to see Master Chief run around a monstrous screen, with a surround sound shaking an entire auditorium, I just don’t think Halo can ever be translated into a SINGLE film that will satisfy fans of the series. Halo is a deep, multi layered, vast universe. Too vast for a single film, and Master Chief’s story is too complicated to cram into 2 hours. No, Microsoft has done the right thing and keeps producing mini web series. There are no adjustments to be made, no compromises to strike, because of time constraints. Halo shouldn’t be a movie, not because it doesn’t deserve one, but because it’s so damn BIG that you can never serve it justice in one film.
Again, breathe gamers. I love Mass Effect, it’s freaking amazing. However, this will not be easiest of projects for Hollywood to try and create. Mass Effect was a very PERSONAL game to many gamers- everyone may have had the same general outline of a story, but what made this game so engrossing was that your decisions actually effected your game outcome. (I mean, decisions carried over into the entire series). Commander Shepard was YOUR Shepard. Giving Mass Effect a film means that someone is giving Commander Shepard a permanent mold on how the character should be viewed, and the intimacy (for lack of better phrase) you had with Mass Effect is stripped away to someone else’s vision, not your own. For all your know, your Shepard could be wrong compared to the Shepard that will appear in the movie. Everyone’s experience with Mass Effect was so different, it’s wrong to give it a film that says otherwise.
3. Angry Birds
I’m not joking when I say Angry Birds is in the works of getting a movie. This is an awful decision. Angry Birds had barely enough plot (because it really didn’t need it) to keep their game’s story moving- how in the hell is someone supposed to write a movie script for it?
4. Need for Speed
This video games series does NOT need a movie. Why? Because it already has one: Fast and the Furious.
5. Dante’s Inferno
Fantasy tends to have a bit of a stigma in the movie industry, and I do not think Dante’s Inferno will be spared this. The game is pretty off the wall in its own right, and if not given a big enough budget to digitally recreate hell this movie will automatically look like a B flick. And generally, B flick never tend to be very good…Specially Fantasy B flicks, and that’s just a combo for a box office flop. Honestly, the game had a pretty flimsy plot line as it was, the gore and horror is what saved this game. It’s best staying an animated (very oddly animated style) feature.
6. Legend of Zelda
I want to keep this one simple: the Zelda franchise is pretty freaking awesome, and pretty freaking large. I hate to admit, but many Zelda gamers most likely have a hard time trying to figure out- much less UNDERSTAND- wtf is happening in its timeline. It’s a convoluted time line, and it’s difficult to explain what game goes where, and exactly how they are all connected. Starting a Zelda movie will just muddle things up further, and will have a hard time trying to untwine generations of cryptic game history. Unless, they just say fuck it, and use the actual Zelda games as vague source materials…and at that point, we all know fans hate it when their series aren’t paid tribute to in their own movies, but rather just a title with a varying plot. Those never turn out well.
My point being in the previous section is this: The Resident Evil movies. Resident Evil movies pretty much have NOTHING to do with the Resident Evil games. Same name, borrowed heroes and villains, but honestly… it’s not the story you played. I like to think fans allow this terrible movie series to continue because we have no other OPTIONS for video game flicks- no one has done the video game movies justice, and even though it’s sub par, the Resident Evil flicks are the closest thing we’re going to get. I just hope someone puts a bullet in this movie franchise’s head, because it went awful a few movies back, and now Hollywood is beating a very dead horse…or should I say zombie? Whatever.
8. Devil May Cry
DMC is a very, very, outlandish video game franchise. It’s ridiculous game play makes it beautiful and seriously fun to play; but that plot line…It’s just not going to work for the big screen. If you could honestly say DMC has a plot line. It’s a joke with fans of the series that DMC has a nothing to nil story line, it’s vague at very best, and you don’t pick up the game for story- you play it for the SSS combo’s and the very cool anti hero. You MIGHT be able to take the new DMC reboot (DMC Devil May Cry) and make it into the movie, because it’s plot and character development is a little more fleshed out, but it would not still well with fans. The DMC fan base is split at the moment between people who like the reboot and those who do not. So a reboot DMC movie would not get the support it deserves.
9. Street Fighter
I wanted to gouge my eyes out when I watched the Legend of Chun Li movie. Can you change a back story any more, and make a karate film looks so amazingly cheesy? Classic 70’s dubbed Kung Fu movies were more believable then this shit. And at the end they had the gall to think they were going to do a Ryu movie? Nope, just…NOPE. Do not ever do this again; I can’t have any more of my childhood arcade memories killed.
My beef with a World of Warcraft film is simple: I am Horde. Let me explain; if and when a Warcraft film is made it will not be based around the races of the Horde faction. To appease movie goers who are not familiar with Warcraft, movie creators will want their characters to be humanoids, something familiar, and easy to look at and connect with. An orc isn’t exactly easy to feel sorry for, as opposed to a human. The film will focus on the Alliance most likely, and portray them as the protagonist, and paint the Horde as the villains. Why not? The Horde races look like the stuff of Nightmares. However, Warcraft players know that there isn’t any “true hero” and “true villains” between in the factions- each race has done something messed to another race, and everyone has a bit of good and evil in them. Warcraft isn’t Disney, where there is a distinct difference between good and evil. But a Warcraft movie will paint it in such a way, that it bugs me. My faction, Horde, will be the monsters of the film, and the Alliance, (who has just as many monsters in their ranks) will be the knights in shining armor. Warcraft is best doing what Game of Thrones has done- get a freaking TV series. The Lore is complex, the relationships even more complex, and for people to actually understand it they’re going to need more than a two hour film.